I have been sitting at my desk for quite a few hours now, wondering how to begin this letter to you. How do you address the person who is destined to take over the role of protector to your only child? It is my hope you will never read this letter and I will get the chance to tell you all this in person, but I know the world is an unpredictable place and wish for there to be a record of this in case something where to happen. So I suppose I must do my best to push forward and choose what words I can to tell you what I need to say.
I will admit my memory of you back in the days of the Academy are faint, especially after you and Elijah went your seperate ways in the manner that you did. But I will also admit that my uncertain recollection of you is partly at my own fault and lack of involvement in Elijah’s life. But perhaps it’s better this way, because now I get to judge you as the man you are and not from the bitter memory of a father who can only see who you used to be. When Elijah told me he wished to be with you, that he was done with my attempts to arrange his claim for him I did what most in the Webb family, I shut down. I refused to listen and became stubborn, a trait my son seems to have inherited from me and for that I apologize, no doubt that stubborn streak will give you more than one headache in the years to come.
I know you must think me cruel for doing that, for trying to dictate who my son lived his life with as if it were my own to choose. Perhaps you are right, but I think it’s important you know why for reasons that will be clear to you by the end of this letter with any luck. Before Elijah’s mother, I fell for another when I was just a boy and pretending that I was a man, stuck in an estate not too disimilar to the one you’re at now. Liara. She was beautiful, fierce and impossibly beautiful and passionate. She was older than I but I was convinced we were made for each other and for a while, so was she. But I couldn’t make a claim, I was but new to the estate and had not nearly enough points and she was on a time limit that ran out far too quickly. She was to be a slave, losing her freedom just like that and everything seemed to fall apart. She couldn’t stand the idea of losing her freedom, her passion and so she decided that she would rather die a free woman then live the life of a slave. I still remember her to this day, the fire in her eyes will likely never leave my memory and a part of me hope it never does.
I suppose you may wonder why I am telling you such a tale and what this has to do with my boy. Liara’s death still haunts me and depsite my absence in his life, I know Elijah and I know that he would not stand to lose his freedom just like Liara and the thought of losing my only child so young was one I couldn’t stand and when he was put in the estate, I suppose my fears felt like they were becoming a reality. So I tried to save him and in return I ended up pushing him further away, so far that he was almost a stranger. But maybe it was for the best that I did, because had I not perhaps you two would have never ended up where you were, side by side. I still remember the look on his face, that determination when he came home to visit and said that he didn’t need my pity claims, because he already had a Dominant and wasn’t going to give him up for anything. His passion was so pure, the fire in his eyes burning with a love and a strength I’d never seen in his eyes before. I suppose that was the moment I knew my little boy had become a man and the moment I knew, I had to let him go.
Elijah is not the same person he was when he came to the estate and for that I have you to thank. He’s been through so much, so many things I should have been there for and wasn’t, so many times I failed him. Perhaps now I can finally have the time to make it up to him, to spend time with him and become the father I always wanted to be and maybe it starts with the blessing I gave him, to both of you to see this through together. But even if I have not been the man I should of been for him, I still have a request as his father for you Connor. Please look after my boy, I have done so many things in my life, created so many things in this business of mine. But the thing dearest to me, the thing I am proudest to say I created is my Elijah. Please treasure him and be there for him in ways I should have been. Because with this blessing, I trust you with the thing that matters most to me in this world.
Thank you Connor, for giving my son everything I always wanted for him and perhaps giving an old man a second chance at being his father.
[firms up his hold to get Elijah’s attention]
I love you.
[looks to the paper to begin reading]
[gently squeezes the nape of Elijah’s neck]
You’re nervous, probably more than me. Don’t be.
I know how important your father is to you. I want you to be able to share this moment with me. We’re here for each other, no matter what.
I want to say I’d never ask you to put anything to the side for me, but I’m not feeling up to promises, right now. Would you like to read it with me?
It’s always back to you